Bobby's Photo Blog
My Photographic Blog

On the Rebuild

I have been out of the loop for a couple of months now. I have seen many bad things in my life and yes I have done bad things. I have seen suffering and loss in many forms – from my days as a US Marine to my travels around the country cleaning up after disasters. I have been with friends who lost some one close to them and tried to comfort and lend a shoulder for them.
I felt bad for people when they lost like that but nothing could have prepared me for this.

English: pink ribbon

On May 1st 2013, my beautiful partner, Fiance, Best Friend and  my soul-mate lost her battle with Breast Cancer. Lissa and I had a brand new and strong  love for one another. We had known each other for four years, were living together for three, and engaged for two. We hardly were apart and happy just to be together. We were on course to resolve legal issues and be Married the weekend of  February 16 the anniversary of our engagement. Unfortunately we got the news in October 2012 that her breast cancer was metastatic and treatment was scheduled. Treatment that included everything from Chemo to Radiation to Drug Therapy. Everything else took a back seat and yes that included work, play and future planning. Every day we hugged, we cried, we kissed and we tried to be us. We prayed and we went to the doctor. We spent a lot of time in the hospital and eventually Hospice. I say we because I was there with her, holding her hand and trying to give her what comfort I could. I held her in my arms as she drew her final breath on the morning of May 1st.

The hardest thing  was watching the bravest, most beautiful woman fight the fight of her life, bravely and with courage and realizing there was nothing I could do to save her

I have great memories of our life together and at the same time I am troubled by the images of suffering my angel went through. Holding her while she cried, kissing her tears away while telling her I would be there where others failed. I would be there to the very end and then some. I cry. I hurt. There is a big ol hole in my chest where my heart used to be. My soul yearns for her. I called out and I cried.

I am healing. I am learning to start over.  I am on the rebuild.

I miss you Lissa,


3 Responses to “On the Rebuild”

  1. You are a good man, and she loved you with every fiber of her being. I miss her also..she was a gift from the Creator to all she came in contact with.. Love you, my friend..

  2. Wow…wow and wow…you are amazing and I truly understand why God sent you to her because it took someone both amazing and patient to break down those huge walls, reach into her big heart and heal it and then make it flourish which it very much did. These have been a wild 4 years with you learning a lot about yourself and what a strength you have. She was very lucky and so where you. There is not a single day that goes by that I dont miss her and so many times I like to think she is standing behind me ( I can feel her). It really amazes me how much of my heart she sits in. I want to thank you again for trusting me to help you with the storage unit, for sharing that part of her because I know how precious every part that you have is to you. I am both honored and touched. Let me know when (Mondays and Thursdays are best) and we will get through it together…

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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